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Sep
7th
Mon
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I’ve performed with the actors, musicians, and the singers - and I’m sorry, but it’s just not hte same for them. That little bit of padding on the knees and elbows makes a difference. Standup comedy doesn’t belong in the arts section; it belongs on the sports pages.
— Jerry Seinfeld, Prologue to “I Killed: True Stories of the Road from America’s Top Comics”
Apr
18th
Sat
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The BA-K-47 Bacon, as with everything, is dangerous in extremely large quantities.  It is even more dangerous, however, when it is fashioned into an assault weapon. http://www.thisisfreakingridiculous.com/tifr/2009/4/13/ba-k-47.html

The BA-K-47

Bacon, as with everything, is dangerous in extremely large quantities.  It is even more dangerous, however, when it is fashioned into an assault weapon.

http://www.thisisfreakingridiculous.com/tifr/2009/4/13/ba-k-47.html

Apr
3rd
Fri
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Well, it looks like the Internet beat us to it: here is the Baconcylcopedia, the “Ultimate Bacon Reference of Baconic Proportions.”  That’s right - a page with a baconly* amount of bacon history, bacon trivia, and bacon products.  Study it with the baconest* of your attention and you, too, might one day earn your B.B.** degree. * Yup, we here at TMI have begun to use “bacon” as an adjective for anything as good or as epic as this meaty, pig-derived treat. ** Bachelor of Bacon

Well, it looks like the Internet beat us to it: here is the Baconcylcopedia, the “Ultimate Bacon Reference of Baconic Proportions.”  That’s right - a page with a baconly* amount of bacon history, bacon trivia, and bacon products.  Study it with the baconest* of your attention and you, too, might one day earn your B.B.** degree.

* Yup, we here at TMI have begun to use “bacon” as an adjective for anything as good or as epic as this meaty, pig-derived treat.

** Bachelor of Bacon

Jan
12th
Mon
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See Harrison the Intern LIVE! Harrison (in addition to be an extremely talented and modest intern) is also a professional stand-up comedian.  If you’d like to see what he does on stage, come out to the EastVille Comedy Club (85 E. 4th St.) tonight (Monday, January 12th) at 9 PM - cover is only $1! It’s a great thing to do with girlfriends or boyfriends or really any friends. See you all there!

See Harrison the Intern LIVE!

Harrison (in addition to be an extremely talented and modest intern) is also a professional stand-up comedian.  If you’d like to see what he does on stage, come out to the EastVille Comedy Club (85 E. 4th St.) tonight (Monday, January 12th) at 9 PM - cover is only $1!

It’s a great thing to do with girlfriends or boyfriends or really any friends.

See you all there!

Dec
24th
Wed
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Shirt design #3 — Harrison (harrisongreenbaum.com)

Shirt design #3

— Harrison (harrisongreenbaum.com)

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Shirt design #2 — Harrison (harrisongreenbaum.com)

Shirt design #2

— Harrison (harrisongreenbaum.com)

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If you’ve been reading the girls’ blogs, then you’re aware that they’re looking for T-shirt design submissions for their new TMI shirts. As their intern, I felt it was my duty to upload a few designs of my own.  Let me know what you think! — Harrison (harrisongreenbaum.com)

If you’ve been reading the girls’ blogs, then you’re aware that they’re looking for T-shirt design submissions for their new TMI shirts.

As their intern, I felt it was my duty to upload a few designs of my own.  Let me know what you think!

— Harrison (harrisongreenbaum.com)

Dec
18th
Thu
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Other Great Stocking Stuffers For Under $50

Let’s be honest: the best stocking stuffer under $50 is $49.99 in cash.  But if you want to surprise your friend or loved one, try one of these (make sure you read past the jump for the full list):

LITERAL: Stuffing.

IRONIC: Another stocking.

EXISTENTIALIST: Nothing.

TAOIST: Everything.

OPTIMISTIC: Fill the stocking half way.

PESSIMISTIC: Leave the stocking half empty.

JEWISH: Wait, why are there stockings in your house?

— Harrison (harrisongreenbaum.com)

Dec
2nd
Tue
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I’m pretty sure that, thanks to TMIWeekly.com, there will be at least an increase in the purchase of bacon-related gifts this holiday season by at least 300%.  In other words, from 1 to 4. Take that, economic recession.  And vegetarians. In order to make sure we reach our bacon-related target, I’ve put together an amazingly comprehensive bacon gift guide, at least as amazingly comprehensive as bacon gift guide written by a Jew can be. Enjoy: Bacon-flavored ice cream Bacon-flavored beer Mr. Bacon action figure Bacon scarf 1 / Bacon scarf 2 Bacon wallet Bacon tuxedo Francis Bacon Uncle Oinker’s bacon mints Bacon-of-the-month club Bacon sampler 1 / Bacon sampler 2 Bacon gift wrap Bacon band-aids Bacon air freshener Bacon-scented bubbles Bacon-scented candles Baconator Baconaisse (Bacon mayonnaise) Bacon toilet paper Bacon-flavored toothpicks Bacon-flavored water Bacon-flavored chocolate bar Bacon-flavored coffee Bacon-flavored jelly beans Gummy bacon Bacon salt (Slogan: “Everything should taste like bacon.”) Bacon pillow 1 / Bacon pillow 2 This isn’t so much TMI as it is TMB.  Too Much Bacon. — Harrison the Intern (harrisongreenbaum.com)

I’m pretty sure that, thanks to TMIWeekly.com, there will be at least an increase in the purchase of bacon-related gifts this holiday season by at least 300%.  In other words, from 1 to 4.

Take that, economic recession.  And vegetarians.

In order to make sure we reach our bacon-related target, I’ve put together an amazingly comprehensive bacon gift guide, at least as amazingly comprehensive as bacon gift guide written by a Jew can be.

Enjoy:

Bacon-flavored ice cream

Bacon-flavored beer

Mr. Bacon action figure

Bacon scarf 1 / Bacon scarf 2

Bacon wallet

Bacon tuxedo

Francis Bacon

Uncle Oinker’s bacon mints

Bacon-of-the-month club

Bacon sampler 1 / Bacon sampler 2

Bacon gift wrap

Bacon band-aids

Bacon air freshener

Bacon-scented bubbles

Bacon-scented candles

Baconator

Baconaisse (Bacon mayonnaise)

Bacon toilet paper

Bacon-flavored toothpicks

Bacon-flavored water

Bacon-flavored chocolate bar

Bacon-flavored coffee

Bacon-flavored jelly beans

Gummy bacon

Bacon salt (Slogan: “Everything should taste like bacon.”)

Bacon pillow 1 / Bacon pillow 2

This isn’t so much TMI as it is TMB.  Too Much Bacon.

— Harrison the Intern (harrisongreenbaum.com)

Nov
19th
Wed
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To be fair and balanced (like Mary’s colon), here are some informational links from credible medical sources to consider: Journal of Clinical Gastroenterology (1997) National Council Against Health Fraud (1995) (BONUS OBSERVATION: has anyone noticed that if you say “O’Reilly” fast, it sounds like you’re saying, “Oh, really”?  That’s extra-weird when you consider that’s all I say when I hear O’Reilly: “Really, really now? Oh Really?”)  

To be fair and balanced (like Mary’s colon), here are some informational links from credible medical sources to consider:

Journal of Clinical Gastroenterology (1997)

National Council Against Health Fraud (1995)

(BONUS OBSERVATION: has anyone noticed that if you say “O’Reilly” fast, it sounds like you’re saying, “Oh, really”?  That’s extra-weird when you consider that’s all I say when I hear O’Reilly: “Really, really now? Oh Really?”)